How I've Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Empire

The Last Mughal Emperor - He died drugged on heroin and hooked on his harem

People like to rebel against authorities. Especially those of which you are not apart of. Like in contemporary times, when the American Hegemony takes a financial hit in the secret hearts of millions of Russians, Chinese and Arabs they rejoice at seeing their Great Satan race, run, stumble and fall. It's natural. However, the Collapse of Empires is never-ever a happy time for the happy helots inhabiting this planet.

Everytime an Empire collapses, millions die to establish a new status quo. To create a New World Order. It's only practical. Everyone Great Power wants to have a shot at being number one. A good example of this is the Great Chaos after World War I. How many Empires collapsed in that conflict? Far too many. Three Empires bit the dust. The Hohenzollern German Empire, Austro-Hungarian Empire, Russian Empire and the Ottoman Empire. The aftermaths of all these collapsing continue to plague us unto the next century.

Who replaced the Second Reich? Why the Third Reich of course. Its was a reactionary element of Germany to recover the power they'd lost to the Entente in the aftermath of the First World War. Millions in Africa, Asia and Europe died as a result as Nazis systematically killed the ones "responsible" for their collapse. Be it Jew, Gypsy or Communist.

When Austro-Hungary collapsed the dozen or so subject people under Austrian rule breathed a sigh of relief yet thousands of them died in the struggle for the creation of the Slavic utopia - Yugoslavia. When the utopia became synonym for bedlam genocide against Muslims became a past time for the Serbs as they butchered and raped them in large numbers. That's the thing about Empires, when they collapse the minorities always suffer. Just as the Jews did, Kosovars got the worse of it in the 90s and only gained a state a decade later after NATO bombed the nation using stealth bombers. Even as Austro-Hungary was collapsing Balkan Wars in the lead up to this conflict was the result of a fracturing dual-state which could not operate without German aid.

When Russia collapsed, a Russian civil war against Poles, the old aristrocracy and the new soviets enveloped European Russia and killed up to 9 million more Russians. The First World War simply did not end in the East as Ukrainians, Poles and Georgians who just got their independance through the idealism of Woodrow Wilson saw much of it slip away to the Soviets. The aristrocracy, well find any old Russian and ask them about the Kulaks. Those landowners were eradicated to make way for the communal soviet living the new Russia espoused. The Caucasus became an ethnic goulash and no amount of scrumptious blini could make Central Asia a happy place again. The Russians who'd settle there during the Empire had to hold their own against the Kazakhs and Turkmens who probably wanted them dead.

The Ottoman Empire had it really bad. Arabs, Jews, Greeks, Armenians and even Kurds rebelled. The Turks were forced to concede a lot of their age old Empire to save the ethos of their nation - Anatolia or modern Turkey. As a result, the collapsing Empire tried to take down as much of its minorities with it starting with the Armenians who died in droves. During the Turkish War of Independance over 1 million Greeks were forced to leave land they'd been inhabiting for close to 3000 years! The Kurds, well they just got stomped on now and then. Also, the Kurds did what the Kurds do best and took over Armenian land when most of the Armenians from Turkey were either marching in some Syrian desert, dead or in Soviet Armenia. Jews, emboldened with this collapse moved to Palestine in droves which helped culminate in the current Middle East headache.

Even do when Empires collapse, it's for a lot more reasons other than the military ones which ended those dinosaurs I've just described. For instance, economic collapse. For that example, I gotta bring up Habspurg Spain. The big, bad wolf of Europe since 1492. I gotta say, then Castile and Aragon combined twas a happy day for Iberia. Those two kingdoms drove out their Muslims and Christians had enough left over troops to fight France in Italy and conquer the Americas carving out a huge latitude spanner from California to the Straits of Magellan. Gold from the Carribean and Silver from Mexico and Peru payed for Spanish armies all over Europe especially in the already mentioned Italy and the Netherlands which started rebelling during the reign of Felipe II. The huge silver mine at Potosi financed the Habspurg Military Industrial Complex for close to 200 years until it came sputtering to a halt.

All that gold and silver drove up prices for objects, just like Egypt had experienced after Mansa Musa's pilgrimage had touched down there. Of course, merchants were all to happy to sell the products at the increased price. Especially Dutch merchants. They weakened their enemies by selling their wares to them like porcelain and clothing. They began relying more and more on credit from the Low Countries but small farmers lost everything at anytime of market volatility and were forced to move into the cities. Also, Spain's population began growing slower when it wasn't as rich as before, especially when poor people migrated to Mexico, Argentina and Peru to have some chance....after all white people in Latin America were better than Indians according to the caste system there. Poor Castilian farmers couldn't afford anything and exports to other countries got harder than before, especially wool. This plus Dutch Sea-Beggars, the Thirty Years' War, Ottoman Turks and the constant meddling of France made Spain even adopt the French Bourbon dynasty. A great humiliation.

A really bad collapse is that of the Mughals. It all started with a pot-head, boy-loving warlord named Barbur from a place called Ferghana north of modern Afghanistan and nearly won all of India - incredible. His dad died when he was young and he had to fight all his relatives for the rest of his chieftainship. Eventually he got Kabul, a stinking wreck but probably a great prize for him. Probably thought it was beautiful between raping boys and chewing a form of pot.

Around 1519, this upstart started raiding India from Afghanistan. He didn't really like India but he liked the stuff he could squeeze out of it like gems, ivory, peacocks and the teeming millions to tax. Nothing was beyond this descendant of Timur the Lame. He raided the Punjab and apparently met the original prophet of the Sikhs, Guru Nanak and returned to his homeland. But he kept coming back and each time he did he brought technologies like matchlock pistols and cannon from his Persian friends in Central Asia. In 1525, he marched on Delhi and he defeated the combined power of the kings of Northern India. When he died they sent his body back to Afghanistan.

His son Humayun, wasn't so lucky. He was chased out of India by his enemies (really, his other brothers) but with Persian support he was back in power in 1555. The really great Mughal Emperor was Akbar. He inherited the throne after his dad tripped down a flight of stairs and died and set about conquering most of India. He gave favours to the Rajputs, Hindu warriors who fought for him to show their gratitude. He also let Rajput princesses into his harem to cement alliances with these small Rajput states and was as tolerant as a ruler could be in India at that time. Even gifted the Sikhs with some land where a very important shrine now lies - Amritsar. All of this "toleration" ended. The Sikhs began to train themselves in warfare and won battles against the Mughals due to persecution from Shah Jahan. This became even worse when Aurangzeb came to power. He wished to convert the entire Mughal Empire to Islam, if not the only other option was - death. The Maratha people led by Shivaji began waging guerrilla warfare against the Mughals. Guru Gobind Singh's son led a full revolt against the Mughal Empire and the mighty edifice began to fall apart due to Maratha and Sikh attacks, just in time for the British East Indian Company to arrive. Religious intolerance drove the Mughal's subject peoples crazy and made them rebel.

Another good warfare example is Imperial Japan. Everything they'd done was culminated through war. They defeated China to become the chief Asian through war. Seized Korea too. Defeated Russia to be treated as a world power through conflict. Got Asian colonies in World War I because of War. Got stuck in a Chinese quagmire, invaded too many European countries and attacked the United States and got involved in a epic Pacific War fought over thousands of miles of islands and open water ending in the atomic destruction of two cities.

Political dissolution is always possible to. It wasn't an army that felled the British Empire, financial woes or religious intolerance although all were a factor. It was political will for self-determination in places like India, Kenya and other countries which ended the largest Empire ever. Britain had conquered its empire through nationalism and jingoism. It's ironic as soon as their subject peoples discover the wonderful powers of this phenomenon, they lose it all in some 40 years. It got so bad, they had to fight Argentina over some islands in the South Atlantic and nearly lost too.

Can America fall? Due to economic collapse - not that quickly. It would take a slow decline for 30% going onto 40% of the World's GDP losing it all, and destroying all our livelihoods too. Also, the US still possesses some big industries. Religious intolerance? 90% of American are Christian. They only need to fear extremist from foreign religions which threaten them. Finally, political dissolution? Yes, that is possible. The Americans like to believe they don't have an Empire. Not a formal one anyway. As soon as they discover they do have one, they could give it up like the Philippines. Since their power is an invisible hegemony, it might not happen.

I could never survive the apocalypse caused by the sudden vaccuum of American power. Although it maybe arbitrarily unfair, and sickening at its worst... I don't know about you but i'm just a parasite riding the Moby Dick called the US of A.