2000-2009: Worst. Decade.Ever.

I don't know about you but hasn't this the saddest start to a century in the past 500 years or more? The beginning of the 20th century got flight, the phonograph, the automobile not to mention Einstein's theory of Relativity. The only wars were against Boers and Filipinos and every non-white chaffed under the rule of the Europeans, especially after East Asian Japan crushed Slavic Russia.

The start of the 19th century had wars for sure. After all, this was the era of Napoleonic France as it sought to stretch its domination from Madrid to Moscow. Also, the new nation of the US was doubling in every way (geographically, demographically etc). Exciting times. What do we have? Shit. Nothing but elephant dung. No African beetle would attempt to roll it up and make something beautiful like a home for its larvae out of it. I fear bringing up my own offspring in this giant shit called the 21st century.

The UN declared this decade at the advent as the decade in which children would be safe from violence. Tell that to the child soldiers in the Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda, the ones who fought for the Tamils in Sri Lanka and are fighting in Central Africa to control diamonds, gold and other minerals with little real value. This decade has been shit and we all know it. Let's go year by year shall we?

2000: George W Bush gets elected president and dooms America for the wildest 8 years of its history. Yee-haw! Elian Gonzales finally returns to his Marxist Banana Republic of Cuba, good riddance.Putin comes to power and reinvogirates Mother Russia to crush all. (ie Chechens).

2001: George Bush is inaugarated. Tears stream down a marble statue of Jefferson. Second Intifada in full swing, giving Ariel Sharon troubling mini-strokes. September 11th is the call to arms against Iraq and Afghanistan but interestingly enough Saudi Arabia is spared.

2002: The Ultimate Power of the Euro is realized when Marianne is put at the back of a French Euro Coin. Tres chic. Operation Annaconda commences and fails. East Timor gets independance and finds out it can't blame everything on Indonesia anymore. The US starts building a case (a very weak one against Iraq). Argentina finds out bankruptcy ain't so hot.

2003: Iraq is invaded much to every Arab's chagrin. The first pandemic of the decade - SARS scares the shit out of everyone. Many more diseases to follow. Hacking off too many limbs in Liberia causes people to actually care about West Africa.

2004: Haitians lose their sanity again. John Kerry actually believes he can become president in the middle of Bush's war. Spain withdraws from Iraq via a sucker punch from Al Qaeda. Darfur is on everyone's lips, including the dead Fur people of Sudan. The first Sikh Prime Minister of India shatters the dream of Khalistan. The Devolution of the UK goes to far when the Scottish meet in their own parliament and don't discuss how to give away their country to the English. The TV show Lost confuses everyone. George Bush wins against proving that America is insane yet sane at the same time. The US does everything but nuke Fallujah. The Indian Ocean nearly drowns South Asia.

2005: The Creation of Youtube makes the possibility of Two Girls One Cup happen. Israel evacuates its settlers from Gaza. Hurricane Katrina tarnishes the Bush Administration. Paris burns. In fact, everything burns.

2006: Russia strangles Ukraine from its gas. Stephen Harper becomes Prime Minister of Canada meaning that we're all Pseudo-Albertans at heart. The Iraq War heats up with the death of Zarqawi. Somehow, Israel loses to a non-state entity on Southern Lebanon called Hezbollah. How you ask? We shall never know. The Wii brings joy and laughter to every retirement home.

2007: Ethiopia invades Somalia after Tadesse Alemu dies (Who doesn't love Erikum?). No ones knows what happened at the Battle of Najaf, nor will anyone ever. Bird Flu scares the crap out of everyone (more pandemics to come!). China still have slaves, dayum! Britain pussies out of Basra, Lord Kitchener in heaven sheds tears. Pakistan starts crumbling and Benazir Bhutto becomes a victim of it.

2008: The stock market takes its first plunge of the year. Kosovo is freed. Rising food prices make the bottom billion close to rebelling. Kenya has a major hiss fit. The Sichuan Earthquake. Beijing amazes the world the same day Georgia astounds the world for its stupidity. Americans fear for their lives as their material wealth diminishes so they elect a Black Man to White House. The Gaza Strip conflict begins making the Jews lose most Holocaust sympathy in the West.

2009 (so far): Laurent Nkunda is captured by Rwandans so they could make his stay in Rwanda more comfortable. Iceland collapses. North Korea threatens the world again, sabre-rattling with nukes. Ahmadinejad of Iran is re-elected making those Iranian hipsters rebels with a cause. Michael Jackson dies and Honduras still is a Banana Republic

So there you have it. A short run-down to the shit we people have had to deal with. This century can only get worse. Who calls an Asian War by 2040? The collapse of Pakistan? Renewed Civil War in Suda? Apple gets even richer? Shit times man, shit times.

Do the British Even Want An Army Any More?

Although the British Army generates much pride from the British public due to its long

history and great reputation as a fighting force, it seems that the British Government lacks the

same sentiments. The British Army is beset with problems ranging from funding to general manpower.

Two foreign wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are just some of the problems. The troops in Basra basically gave up and let the Shi'ites take over the port and the British contingent in ISAAF is losing badly against the resurgent Taliban in Southern Afghanistan, especially in Helmand province. Equipment which is expected to last 10 years lasts 5 in the environment of those two desert nations, Afghanistan being worse due to its hot summers and sometimes freezing winters. This hampers Britain's very serious manpower problem.

The British army is already understrength and in time of crisis only 1500 troops are battle-ready out of an army of around 170,000 men. A part of this problem is the other two branches - the Navy and Air Force. Not much budgetary funds are left after those two branches take what they need. Especially the navy, the pride of the British Armed forces which is already losing many of its surface ships. The modern British army was clearly not made to fight two wars at the same time.

The fact that the Brits have left Iraq is good, however those 8,000 marines might be shipped off to Afghanistan as part of Mr Obama's 'Surge' there. It's hard to be America's chief ally. You have to stand toe to toe with an economic and military giant. You need transport aircraft, an aircraft carrier, long-range bombers and even nukes. Something that an island nation which only requires a small army and okay navy has trouble supporting. Can't blame them.

However, Britain still wants to be influential. In a world where:

• Russia is more powerful due to its oil and natural gas and has sent jets close to Britain not to mention the invasion of Georgia last August


• Pakistan is having trouble with the Taliban and may need international troops to help patrol its tribal border with Afghanistan


• Iran wants nuclear weaponry and defies international opposition to it


• North Korea does have nukes and wants to build more. Much more and is threatnening Japan, South Korea and Hawaii


• Argentina still wants the Falklands (okay, you got me there. There might not be a war but Britain still has to exercise its sovereignty on tiny islands around the world)

So, it's up to Britain to decide what it wants. Does it just want the Territorial Army? Or does it have to live up to those who came before it and fought in the Plains of Abraham. Troops which help defeat Napoleon. Soldiers who conquered India and Africa while humiliating the Chinese and fending off the Germans during the Second World War. That's probably something the current Labour government cannot decide. I guess nothing beats a political yomp through Whitehall.

Class Warfare - Iranian Style

If you watch BBC World News, you'll notice that young Iranians are willingly defying authority. Throwing stones as if it was the first intifada. But why? If you look carefully, you'll notice that these young Iranians are westernized. The ones protesting is the MTV generation of Iran in a country where the median age is near 26 years. However, we don't see the rustic country folk resisting Ahmadinejad's election as much as they are. The Iranian election was about class warfare. The poor, religious working class against the somewhat well-off urbanites.

Ahmadinejad knows his base and throughout his 4 years in office he visited these rural provinces many times and gave much of the oil money to them to ease their life. In a country where oil subsidizes everything, the poor really need the money however this money is clearly as the Americans would call pork. Even as oil prices fluctuated the poor were better off under the leadership of a blacksmith's son. How was Mousavi going to compete with that? Without looking at the demography of the country, Mousavi was outnumbered even if there was some vote irregularities.

Also, the election is a signal that Iran does not want to engage the US, despite offers from Barack Obama of dialogue some day. Iran is going it alone, especially with regards to its nuclear programme making the entire region nervous. In Ahmadinejad's second term we could see a desperate action undertaken by Israel or worse - a nuclear arms race in the Middle East

Besides, when you really examine it. Do you think the Iranian Republican Guard and the Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamanei was going to let Mousavi win? They vowed to crush his "Green Movement" if he caused any trouble after the election and he maybe under house arrest right now. The Ayatollah has all the cards in that pseudo-democracy. It was just a matter of time until the Iranian people realized they didn't have a true democracy. Hopefully, it will make them realize what they voted for was a sham. Too bad it took them so long to see it.