Iraq: The End Game

Mongols back in Baghdad, some things never change

I was a young lad when the Coalition of the Willing invaded Iraq and it's most likely I'll be an old man when they finally leave. Can we look at Iraq before Saddam and the general direction it's perceived to be heading into now?

The Age of Saddam: Saddam was a jerk. He truly was. His Iraq-Iran War which he launched killed over a 1 million people and just strengthed Iran's theocracy. His use of poison gas against the Kurds who had a right to rebel in my view was atrocious, not even Hitler used poison gas. Not to mention his destructive invasion of Kuwait. Even after he was beaten in a matter of days during the Gulf War he let loose pent-up rage and killed thousands of Kurds and Shia. He wasn't the biggest mass-murderer in history but especially in a region like the Middle East, he was a nuisance for American Hegemonic progress.

Mind you, I didn't support the Iraq War but if he was left alone to this day... do you really believe he would not want to have his own terror organizations like how Iran has Hezbollah and Hamas tied to its waist. The entire region would've gotten worse after 9/11 with Saddam there regardless whether he was running Iraq or not. The thing is with Saddam gone, an enemy who really hates the US took its place.

Post-Saddam: More than 600,000 Iraqis have died since the invasion of Iraq and the declaration of the end of hostilities. Arab Sunnis fearing a loss of power began an earnest insurgency with Al-Qaeda and it's foreign fighters blowing themselves up with gusto. America hasn't fought a counter-insurgency war since the war in Vietnam and even then it lost because its' forces were more equipped to fight the USSR in Central Europe rather than Viet Cong in South East Asia. Same thought process here. Even after more than 10 years since the collapse of the Soviet Union the US armed forces was not ready for irregular warfare. An Empire hasn't been so humiliated by villagers with weapons since the Boer War. Even then, the Boers didn't use IED's, Chlorine gas bombs and liquid copper bombs to shred American mechanized infantry vehicles.

A Short Blurb -A History of Violence:Iraqi Style

This goes without saying Iraq isn't a peaceful place. Ancient Sumerians were the first to be urbanized and as such the first to face death by organized armies. Sargon of Akkad pretty much decimated the Sumerians in turn. The Akkadians were in turn wrecked by the Assyrian War Machine which was fast, mobile adaptive and gifted with sieges. Alexander the Great had his fun fighting the Persians there too. The Romans were routed when trying to fight the Persians, malaria and imcompetance. The Islamic Arabs who at the same time crushed the Byzantines and the Persians had their share of Iraq of course - after all Iraqis speak Arabic today. Then the Mongols under Hulagu came and spoilt the Islamic Jihad party. They completely, thoroughly, carthartically destroyed Baghdad. They rolled up the Abbasid Caliph in a carpet and let their ponies crush him to death. Pyramids of skulls and everything. All 800,000 Baghdad residents were put to the sword, that was the high-point of Iraqi culture too. The Ottomans, my favourite variety of Turks had to take over Iraq. Then the Brits, the most ruthless Empire builders since Rome invaded Iraq and trudged all the way up the Tigris and Euphrates battling Turks and Arabs along the way. Finally, their Anglo brethren the Americans decided to do the same using motorized vehicles instead of Hindu porters and horses. After all this slaughter, I really do feel bad for the average Iraqi.

Millions of Iraqis fled their country. The Christian community of Iraq pretty much has died out after Muslim attacks on them. Though Saddam was captured, this didn't stop the Shia from forming a Mahdi Army (if you know the story of Sudan, this may sound familiar) and the Kurds from declaring a pseudo-state Iraqi Kurdistan and boxing themselves off. Goat meat and all.

The Sunnis are the troublesome part. Their stands at Fallujah and Mosul were set-piece battle in the post-Soviet world. Zarqawi was a dangerous bastard who even Bin Laden had to tell him to stop. His cause of creating a Civil War between Shia and Sunni by far killed most Iraqis. Holes in the ground with bodies showing power drill marks into knee caps and skulls just show the brutality of the insurgency. Iraqi tribes waged war against each other. It seemed like Iraq was doomed.

Then in 2007, that living cancer John McCain urged the Surge. Guess what? It worked. Baghdad was retaken and so was Anbar province with the help of the Sunni Awakening. Soon Sunni tribes were on the American payroll to kill foreign fighters. Even the Iraqi Parliament is somewhat functioning!

Despite all this 'success' it's not as good as the job the Americans did in the Philippines after the Spanish-American War. The true winner of this war was Iran. Iran has a Shia Hegemony stretching from Gaza to Afghanistan. Iran is closer to getting enriched uranium for a nuclear bomb. It's elected leader vents against Israel. It's Ayatollah controls all media. It aids and funds Hamas and Hezbollah who defeated Israel (a Nation-State mind you) in the 2006 Summer War. This is bad.

When Americans finally leave in 2011 they will have to ask themselves was 4000 dead troops worth it? Was Iranian control of the Middle East worth the cost of removing Saddam? Is the fall of American prestige in the World worth Iraq? Is it worth it?

No.

Iran: Economic Warfare Shall Do the Trick

Don't Let Him Win

This is a happy opportunity for the West. Oil has fallen from a high of $140 to near $40 a barrel. Iraq is settling down and Iraqis we'll see American's gone by 2011. Israel's media campaign to really show what the Iranian military is up to is working all too well. Also, US sanctions against Iran seem to be effective too.





The key factor in this is oil. Iran uses oil to subsidize everything. All their industries. Iran can't even finance their own foreign trade without oil or even their general economy for the 70 million people that live there. 80% of Iran's exports consist of oil and a recession far greater than the one in the West is making the Iranian Islamic regime skittish.





Their theocratic government wishes to crack down on 'immoral' slights in their society such as women dressing procatively (even though that woman may look like she's attending a funeral), alcohol comsumption (it's a shame too, Persian culture likes wine), people who don't pray and bloggers. Especially bloggers. Despotic regimes hate bloggers like poison. It counteracts their propaganda machine with the ultimate tool of freedom: the internet.





I don't know about you but heavily enforced Islam seems to strange local cultures. Berbers in North Africa were forced from a matrinileal society to a patriarchy. Egyptians couldn't drink their beer anymore which they've consumed for more than 3000 years making the famous Egyptian paunch belly disappear. Finally Persian poetry, art, wine, literature, music all have but disappear. That's the real crime. Persian culture has lived in 5 different Persian Empire and it had endured it all. The Greeks, the Romans, the Mongols, Tamerlane. Their own people killed it. Now all they have is rice with lamb and raisins. Pitiful.





When smart Iranians complain about it their government attempts to crack down on it. It's just a step lower on the despot ladder from Mugabe. Their young MTV generation sees this and hates this. Especially the metrosexual Iranian males and they're a lot of them in Tehran and Ishfahan if not the religious city of Qom.





If Obama talks to them, he's pretty much legitimizing their regime. A regime that aids Hamas and Hezbollah and Shia insurgents in Iraq. One that threatens to destroy Israel and gets help from North Korea ( among the craziest regimes on Earth but now untouchable thanks to their underground nukes). Obama should put stress on the regime.





1) Lower the price of oil more. After all, it helps the US economy and it ruins Iran's economy.


2) Help the Kurdish and Balochi rebels in Iran. Weakening the Iranian regime with ethnic proxies is nothing new.


3) Get Turkey to help you out somehow. Having Turkey full on board would help the US out a lot.


4) More MTV for the masses. The masses of urban Iranians. Ahmadinejad has no support amongst the urban hip populace but he has a lot of support in the countryside. Still, weakening his and the Ayatollah's legitimacy to rule is key.


5) In case they actually attack Israel, you need your carriers to launch a quick attack on Iranian military facilities. No invasion is necessary, and even if you did you can't hold a country with 3 times the people of Iraq and 3 times the land area with a populace in the countryside which hates your guts. Again, it justs strengthens your enemies.


6) Help Israel prepare itself from an attack by the Iranian proxies Hamas and Hezbollah. Israel lost the Summer War in 2006, don't let it lose another one.





One day, I hope to sip Persian wine, listening to poetry by Ferdowsi or Rum while eating lamb with rice and raisins and a hint of curry. That's my ideal Iran. What's yours?

Recession With A Hint of Sushi

Unlike the events in my dreams, no Japanese Samurai will kill the CEO of Ford

The economy of Japan is the second largest in the world with 4.5 Trillion dollars in GDP but it also is very sick. What Japan went through in the 1990s is what might happen to the United States if it doesn't help large banks balance its balance sheets.

The economy of Japan is still a living, breathing miracle. The entire island country was either burned, atomized or blown up to bits during the Second World War. The Americans, realizing that a weak Japan might fall to communism start pumping hundreds of millions of dollars into their economy. During the early 50s the Korean War also added to those millions that poured into Japan. Close to what happened to Thailand and other democratic South East Asian countries during Vietnam. The Japanese government directed what industries should create the most money for the economy and soon Japan was out of that post-war funk. Heavy industries were created, tarrifs were raised against non-Japanese made industrial products like tvs, the infrastructure of the nation was also built from the ground up to.

I almost forgot to mention the high educational standards the Japanese go through. A highly educated, skilled population made Japan rich creating information, financial and service industries increasingly dominant. From the 60s to the 80s the US feared Japanese economic domination. It was as if the novel Frankenstein was acted out on an economic basis.. and then... it happened.

1989, the Japanese stock exchange the Nikkei hit an all time high of close to 39,000 points. Banks began giving out risky loans to people, investments went increasingly overseases, property values were overestimated and a credit crisis just like the one in the US ensued. During the 1990s, the Nikkei kept falling and falling. Interest rates were cut yet the fundamental problems remained. Only in 2003 did the Nikkei start going up again.

Could this happen to the US? Yes, it could. The 700 billion dollar stimulus package isn't helping those who need it the most. The banks. Californian beer companies and North Carolina tobacco farmers are getting the money. If the banks can't get the money they need to allow credit to start flowing again, you might as well extend your hand to shake recession. The thing which will definately tick me off the most is if those 3 auto losers : GM, Ford and Chrysler get any money. They do not deserve it. If we pay them out, we might as well prepare to pay out 1000 other large companies in the US. They'll start crying out for helping because we've only been curing the symptoms and not the disease. Let's get credit flowing again. For God sakes, help the greedy out!

The French: A Most Glorious Military History

by Didier Massu

Many of you might look at this article and laugh. Go ahead but the truth remains the French ARE the most powerful nation in Europe and have been so for awhile. Also, my people are the most war-like as well. Let's dive into French military history shall we.

I'm not going to start with the Gaullic Wars. The Romans were fighting Gauls, not Frenchmen. The Franks were still hacking and slashing other Germans in the Teuton forests. The Gauls were Celts much like the present day Irish. Also, to those who think Britain has a much better Military History. -SPUT!- I spit upon you! The English conquered who again? Aging Mughals, drugged up Sudanese dervishes and Dutch farmers? That's nothing. We French had to go against everyone! EVERYONE! It is not easy you know to fight every tribe and nation on this planet Earth.

I shall start with Clovis. That noble and most ancient King of the Franks. He extended Frankland or France to the Rhine and pushed out those other disgusting German tribes. He also converted to Christianity and made all the Franks due so. I don't mean to be Frank but he was really cool. Europe was more like the movie Conan than anything else after the end of Rome. You had big tribes moving here and there and killing each other like Conan. Not even Asterix could stop a big Frankish axe from cutting him in two. The good times kept rolling until the 700s. The Arabs just conquered the Visigoths (another German tribe) in Spain.They invaded France and threatned to take all of Europe. It was up to a Frank... it was up to a French man to save Europe. That Frank was Charles Martel, Major Domo to the inept King of the Franks. He smashed the Arabs and their Berber friends at Tours saving Europe from destruction. He had a child, Pippin the Short who was rather short but Pippin had a child himself. Named Charles, he became Charles the Great or Charlemagne!

Every year after he became King of Franks (due to the Pope's blessing) he went to war. He smashed Lombards in Italy, Saxons until they became Christians and Avars.. till there was no more Avars. The only time he failed was against the Arabs in Spain and when he was leaving he was sabotaged by those Basques. He made schooling free and encouraged the arts. He was the greatest King of the Dark Ages. Who did the English have? No one!

If he did one bad thing it was the forbidding of the creation of forts. Soon, the Norsemen took advantage of this and bad things happen. But also good things too. Some Danish Norse settled down in Normany when they made a truce with the King of France and they became Frenchmen themselves. These Frenchmen conquered the stupid English and made them speak French for the next 500 years -SPUT!-. They also conquered parts of Italy and Greece and brought the Byzantine Greeks to their knees. They also helped a lot in the Crusades with men like Bohemond. They made Crusader States in Syria and Lebanon after defeated Arabs there.

It was good to be a French man for a time. We were the most numerous of the Europeans then until the English came. They thought they could rule us? The fools. The English came to conquer France and the French King had little power at the time. It was very bad. Western France burned because of the English. We went from 20 million to 16 million because of them. There would be 12 million more Frenchmen today if it weren't for them! -Sput!- . Their bowmen may have won Crecy and Agincourt but we won Patay and Orleans using the same tactics as before. France was ours again! We ran the English out of our country thanks to Joan D'Arc. My hero. Their arrows couldn't beat French cannon I suppose -laughs-.

After we won, we had a new enemy. The SPANISH! The Spanish seized control of the Holy Roman Empire. The blasted Habspurgs controlled Europe and only us, the French could stop them. They controlled the Low Countries, Spain, Italy and Germany. We were surrounded. We had to fight back. They beat us. France began a Civil War against the Protestants. It was a dark time to be French...

Millions of Frenchmen died fighting one another over religion. Stupid I say, stupid! Finally Henri IV stopped the nonsense and brought us all together again. One big happy French family. We had to fight the Habpurgs a smart way. We got the Ottomans to help us distract them and the Dutch did a lot to waste all their silver from the Incas and Aztecs. Finally in the 30 Years War we attacked and won great victories for our nation. We beat the Spanish.. finally. -coughs on cigarette-. Under Louis XIV the borders of France expanded even if we put the rest of Europe to a draw. We fought all the nations and still managed to expand. Stupid Anglais, they cannot defeat us! Disaster struck, the English formed a big alliance against us and we lost Quebec. At least we kept our sugar islands but the loss of a few acres of snow was disheartening. We got back at the stupid faces with the Americans. We gave them everything to beat you. HA! At Yorktown, your world did turn upside down as we marched crying Englishmen into prisoner camps.

It was to be a Frenchman... AGAIN. Then a few revolutions happened. We French got tired of the Monarchy. We got tired of all the Louis and Marie's. We wanted a Change We Could Believe In. The revolution happened and in 1793, 500,000 Frenchmen were at war. The largest European army ever. The other Eurofags tried to beat us but we held them back and occupied parts of Germany and the Netherlands. To be French meant to be victorious. Napoleon took charge and you might say, he was a Corsican. Not French. Who trained him? Italians? -puh!- Italian's can't even defeat medieval Ethiopians. Shaddup. It was the French. Napoleon was a genius! He smashed armies like there was no tomorrow. Prussians, Austrians and Russians were defeated at Jena, Austerlitz and Borodino. Alas, it was Europe and his own hubris which defeated him. Waterloo was a triumphant comeback yet it failed. All stars must fade one day...

After this, things got interesting. France conquered Algeria. Defeated the Austrians for the millionth time in Northern Italy. Fought with Britain against Russia in the Crimea where we watched the British flounder uselessly against the Russians. Fought the Mexicans and nearly one and now it was our turn against Prussia. The Prussians were a strange German people. Like us, they liked war. We were not ready when we fought them. The Prussians were more organized. They captured the French King and his army at Sedan and surrounded another army. Blast! They won fair and square I suppose. France didn't sit down for long.

We defeated the Chinese in Vietnam getting a rather beautiful colony there and defeated the women-warriors of Dahomey in Africa. Not to mention killing more Chinamen in the Boxer Rebellion.

The French Empire had made a comeback. We were Republican yes, but we were strong. Our navy was big. Our colonies were huge. Until, Germany struck again. We fought a global war with the Hun. In the early days of the First World War we charged the Germans again and again. Toujours l'audace. We lost hundreds of thousands of men but at the Marne. We held strong and stopped the Germans from getting to Paris twice in 50 years. Out of a male population of 20 million French men. We lost 2 million. France was devastated. At Verdun, 800,000 Frenchmen gave their lives for Life, Liberty and Fraternity.

When the Germans came again in 1940 we were prepared. We made a big fortress against them but the Germans went around the line and went straight at the Ardennes forest. Our English friends turn and ran back to Angleterre. Every other continental nation which hated Nazi Germany fail. I remember.. I cried when the Germans took Paris. My home. -sheds tear-. I still cry to this day...

Of course, not all French surrendered. We fought the Nazis in Africa and Italy and were the first back in Paris. Yet not all was well with France. We had to fight for Vietnam and Algeria. We lost both, we lost the will to fight after losting more 3 million men in 2 World Wars. It was too much for France.

France... where is the France I loved and nearly died for? Where is my France, my sanctuary, my home. -cries again-.

FIN

A Hot Flash, In A Cold War

So, Russia is not dead. A certain Mr. Fukuyama said that history was 'over' with the fall of the USSR. How wrong was he! Russia is resurgent and ready to show its ability to the West.

After the USSR, we saw a dozen former Soviet Republics leave Russia and we also saw Russia get eaten alive by its own businessmen. How could we assume Russia was down for the count? Didn't Russia during the Second World War lose over 20 million people from a population of some 180 Million. Yet 5 years later Russia was back, without the Marshall Plan and with a nuclear bomb. The Russians just dont quit. It's how they are. There's a Russian tide, followed by a denouement and a strong leader is usually to be at the cause of it. Whether its Ivan the Terrible, Peter the Great, Catherine the Great, Alexander III ( I believe he was the Third), Stalin and now Putin. All Putin's missing is the 'Great' to symbolize his 'greatness'.

I strongly believe that the pundits in Washington, no matter how cunning they are, are not students of history. How could they believe having a Pizza Hut in Moscow would make Russia like us or even become part of the West. They've never been Westernized although most of them look European. NATO 'Great Push Eastwards' during the 90s angered Russians. The old Russian dominion was soon becoming American. Economically as American businessmen were coming in to make a quick buck out of starving Russians.

You don't humiliate these people, they'll get you back. Japan humiliated them in 1904-05 Russo-Japanese War. Then 40 years later the Russians came back and crushed 2 Japanese armies in Manchuria while capturing half of Korea. Or the Germans did in the First World War. 30 years later, a Soviet Soldier was flying the Hammer and Sickle over the Reichstag. Anyways Russia's attempt to get us back this summer was interesting.

They suckered Georgia into attacking South Ossetia where Russian troops were. Russia was able thus to justify a response and secure independance for South Ossetia in a matter of days. This sent a chill through Europe. Russian natural gas and oil sustain Central European countries like Germany and Poland. Russian cyberwarfare against Baltic States crippled their countries.

Russian people living in Ukraine, Kazakhstan and other places cheer for these victories while the cronies running them cower in fear. NATO doesn't know what to do, Europe is still weak after World War II.

Russia maybe facing a demographic disaster so this is the best time to strike out and use its Petro-Dollars to dominate Europe before the price goes low again. Georgia lies prostate and Abkhazia ( the Other Georgian breakaway country) is going to leave to. Also this might be a sort of tit-for-tat for the independance of Kosovo earlier this year. Venezuela, Iran and soon North Korea will be trying to be Mother Russia's friend. The Russian fleet is steaming to Venezuela right now to engage in War-Games.

An Obama Presidency will have to realize that Russia, among other nations is carving out influence in today's world. This world resembles the late 1800s to early 1900s if any time period. America will have to use Realpolitik to keep its foes at bay and to make sure its allies stand ready for a possible battle. In this century, the Next World War will happen in Asia. Perhaps due to a nationalistic Russia or China.

Rumble In the Jungle: The Tutsis

Many of you might know this but the Democratic Republic of Congo is once again known to the West as a shit country. You might think Somalia is bad. Well, it is. But the DRC is like a zoo... you get killed at. As simple as that.

What's causing this shit?

Rwanda, that's who.

Rwanda, the homeland of the Tutsis and the Hutus and probably the most important genocide of the 90s. Forget Bosnia. This was the real deal. When the two biggest tribes of Central Africa clash, everybody is shaken. After the Tutsis won back the DRC after the genocide. Two million Hutus ran screaming for their lives into the Congo. Can't blame them, they were gonna be killed too. Hutus and Tutsis killing each other in large numbers ain't anything new. Its a Post-World War phenomena. In 1959, intense rioting against a Tutsi king led to the murder of 40,000 Tutsis in Rwanda.

The Hutus in the Congo (or as it was known back in the 90s ; Zaire) started attacking the Tutsis again. Paul Kagame, the Tutsi President of Rwanda after the genocide helped form a pro-Tutsi militia, the ADFL and lended 2000 veteran Tutis soldiers to crush Zaire's army in the Eastern Congo and they did. But they couldn't just take over the Congo. Take a globe and compare the size of Rwanda and the Congo. The Congo is huge while Rwanda is tiny. Real small. Doesn't matter though, the borders between countries don't count. Tribal boundaries do. That's how Africa works.

It's also hard to blame the Zairean soldiers. They were serving the most corrupt human being in history, Mobutu. His massive theft of Congolese wealth helped create the term Kleptocrat. He built massive mansions in the middle of the rainforest while Congolese had to flee from Hutu Interhamwe militia and his own goons. You Westerners might not get how the whole tribe thing works. Well, Europe was like that not too long ago. Where do you think the Hungarians came from? They were a small-time Eurasian steppe find who found a nice plain in Eastern Europe and settled down. Their king was called the King of Magyars, not the king of Hungary or of a set place. Then the whole idea of Nation-States set in.

Paul Kagame and the President of Uganda Yoweri Musevni got Kabila, a washed up warlord to lead this 'rebellion' against Zaire's Mobutu. Somehow, Kabila marched an army to Kinshasa. As usual, Kabila stuck to his old habits when he took power such as smuggling, embezzling, stealing. A bodyguard shot him in the head in 2001. In this huge power vaccuum African nations likes Angola, Zimbabwe, South Africa,Namibia and others got involved besides Rwanda and Burundi. All for the resources of the Congo of course. More than 4 million people died in that time period in the Congo.

Where does that put us today and how does it relate to the Tutsis? The Tutsis are a people who've been pushed over the edge. Sometimes, an ethnic group gets a syndrome where they have nothing to lose. Like Jews during and after the Holocaust, Inca rebellions after the Spanish Conquest and now Tutsis in Central Africa. The new hot rebel leader, Laurent Nkunda claims he's fighting to protect ethnic Tutsis all over Africa. He's just making it worse, the Hutus already hate the Tutsis and Nkunda wants to add the Luba (another tribe) to the list. Hundreds of thousands are fleeing from mountainous region of Eastern Congo and as usual, the UN doesn't know what the fuck to do because if they do shit properly (like killing every Tutsi soldier in the Eastern Congo, Rwanda will get pissed and use genocide points to rack up international support.)

The UN can't do anything. They pass out cookies and water to starving Congolese villagers instead. Many of them have been raped which is a usual tactic. Showing the enemy that they cannot even protect their own women from harm can severely weaken morale.

Nothing is going to be done though. This story line in the media will go on for a few months than disappear like Iraq most recently did because the 'Surge' quieted down the insurgents and Al-Qaeda in Iraq. A solution to this Central Africa problem:

a) Create a permanent Tutsi and Hutu homeland ; Tutsiland and Hutuland. After all. Whats better than actually giving these tribes nation-states and seeing them fight set battles like Europeans. Isn't that proper war? Wasn't Verdun, which killed more Frenchman than the amount of Rwandans dead in the genocide a greater battle? I think not.

b) Give the Hutus and Tutsis MOAB's and give the last tribe standing Rwanda and Burundi. Yes, Burundi. Both tribes live there too. Right now, Hutus control Burundi while Rwanda has Tutsi controlled. I'm surprised they're not killing each other....

c) Wait 500 years and WAIT for nation-states to set up. Its easy to see there would be an Yoruba, Hausa and Akan country. Maybe even an Somali one if they decided to get united, but they're like the Kurds. So disorganized they have no shot at unification.

d) Letting this shit continue to such a level that the problem is resolved.... (laughs) impossible.

There you have it. Sometimes, you can't put a good tribe down.

Race: WTF?

Lately i've been interested in race and what makes people what race. Well, I dont think race exists at all after a ton of research. I think that race is just what a lot of biologists say it is ; a social construct.

Let's look at what we know of race. When we think race you might think, Black, White, Asian an that's about it. What about... Melanesians, Amerindians, Indians, Australian Aboriginal.

If you look at a Melanesian that person has dark skin colours, approaching those of a black person from the United States but do they really look 'Black' to you? Same thing with Aborigines. Also Indians. They can be as pale as Aishwarya Rai to as dark as a Tamil from Southern India? Why is that? Some say they're 'White'. Thats not true either.

Also, if you live in Africa lets say. You'll probably notice some Africans are different from the others. Egyptians dont look like other North Africans sometimes. A Berber wont look like a Fulani and a Fulani won't look like an Igbo. An Igbo won't look like a Tutsi and a Tutsi won't resemble a Baka pygmy and a Baka Pygmy wont look like a Maasai and a Maasai won't look like a Malagasy and Malagasy won't look like a Zulu and a Zulu won't look like a San Bushmen. So much diversity in one continent yet somehow they're all seen as 'Black'. Difficult to understand? I'll help you out.

The notions of Race we're most familiar of come from the United States. A 'Black' person is anyone with African blood. Even Barack Obama even though he's a mixture between Irish Americans and the Luo people from Kenya and a White person is anyone who's fully European. This is due to the social construct of the One-Drop rule which restricts the fluidity of genes a person might see except in Latin America. Stepping away from that let me drop some bomb-shells.

1) 11% of all White Americans have some Black Ancestry. Not surprising though. When America was finally given independance, 20% of the population was Black and a typical human being has a lot of ancestors. Your parents, their parents, your grandparents. In that 11% of White Americans at least 2 ancestors out of say 128 are 'Black'. Doesn't sound like a lot does it.

2) 20% of all Black people in the US have white ancestry. 10% of Black people in the US are 50% White in their genetic lineages.

So, how can Black people say they're black if a fifth of them are actually 'White' and how can White people be white if 11% of them aren't wholly white.

This racial definition is even more defeated when you looked at 'Mixed' people. Take Barack Obama for example. Say that he had a son and a daughter. That son carries his Y-Dna which is Kenyan Luo. Say that son marries a white woman. Their male child marries a white women. Lets say this trend continues. Obama's grandson may look like a White person right. But most of his Y-Patrilineal DNA will be Kenyan. While part of his M-DNA will be 'Black' and 'White'. All the while he make look your average 'White guy'.

This genetic admixture is not only common with the Mixed people. Everyone on Earth is mixed. We all have different Genetic Admixtures. Especially Y-DNA. A person's mother will always be their mother, and their mother. But a person can possible have a Persian Father, followed by a Kurdish man marrying their daughter. Followed by an Arab man marrying the Kurdish-Persian descendant. That person Mt-DNA will be Persian. Their Y-DNA will be Kurdish, Persian and Arab.

This is even made more clear with Human Haplogroups. Haplogroups are genetic markers people posess. So a person who lives in Yemen could have Haplogroup M and so could an Aboriginie from Australia. This utterly defeats the concept of race. As people from Haplogroup M spread around the Indian Ocean, they adapted to their environments through natural selection, sexual selection and population bottlenecks.

So, say you want a party with people from Mt-DNA Haplogroup B. Sure, why not invite the Chinese, Koreans, Chinese along with the Quechuas, Hawaiians, Cherokee etc. It still amazes me how diverse people got in the 200,000 years when Homo Sapiens Sapiens left Africa. But then again, Humans are the most homogenous Mammalian species on Earth. I guess the longer your species lives and stays away from each other, the more diverse they get. This is coming to an end but let me not get off topic.

When race isn't that big of a deal... whole 'races' can disappear. When Mexico declared Independence in 1810, 1/10th of its population was black. Nowadays it's 1.5% of its population is Black. Why is that? During the slave trade, 200,000 Africans arrived in Mexico compared to the 3 million sent to Brazil and the United States brought in over 500,000 slaves before the end of the Slave Trade if not slavery itself. Generations of intermarriage between Native Mexicans, Spaniards and other Europeans and of course mestizos contributed to this lack of visible Africans in Mexico. African DNA just diffused into the general population unlike the United States where the social construct of race and the One Drop Rule made this extremely difficult to do.

Egyptians know of this as well. Egypt is the Cross-roads for Empire and Egyptians will look as Dark as a Nubian to as light as an Israeli but these same Egyptians have been Egyptians since the stone ages. Although most of their elite maybe foreigners, the average man from Upper Egypt who tills the soil as his ancestors did thousands of years ago is just the same as that man thousands of years ago. Ancient Egyptian depictions of themselves in Ancient Egypt, Roman rule and of course attest to that. Egyptians are just North Africans and if you even wish to use language as a sort of test of ethnic heritage.... Ancient Egyptians spoke Afro-Asiatic languages which peoples in the Horn of Africa speak, which they're closely related to.

One more thing. Turks.. aren't that Central Asian. Go to google and type in Turkmen or Kirghiz or Tajik or even Kazakh to a picture of a modern day person living in Turkey. Today's Turkish people are just Turkified Greeks. When the Seljuk and Ottoman Turks took over Anatolia (Turkish region). They didn't kill all the inhabitants. They lived among them and assimilated them to become Turks. When scientists compared the gene flow from Mongolia to Turkey.. not alot of things were similiar. Despite the adoptian of a Altaic Language (Turkish) and Islam, the people of Turkey are still the Byzantine Greeks we know and love.

To conclude all of this mumbo-jumbo together. Race is a social construct. Often peoples can lose their race or become a member of another ethnic group due to assimilation, genetic diffusion and intermarriage. Most people on Earth are mixed in a myriad of ways and racists are just interbred who don't wish to enjoy the wonderous diversity of people... if you ever get a chance to gaze into the face of a San Bushman. You will see humanity.

The Asian epithantic fold, the full lips of an African, the flat nose of an Asian, the high cheek bones of a Central Asian, the skin which could become whiter or darker depending on UV exposure, the tightly coiled hair of an African, the thin limbed body of an Australian Aborigine, the barrel chest of a Siberian/Amerindian. In short, human beings in a microcosm.

* All the pictures are of Africans, see if you can identify the Australian Aborigine

The Horn of Africa : War Now, War Always

The Horn of Africa. The worst place to be if you're a hippie. This place hasn't had any peace, ever. Look at the countries in the Horn of Africa. You got Ethiopia, Somalia, Eritrea, Djibouti. Among the most fucked up countries on this Earth. All right next to each other and you got the scariest ethnic groups alive running them.

The Afar have Djibouti, the Tigrayans have Eritrea, Somalis have Somalia but Ethiopia is the weird exception. Its got all of those peoples except the Oromo (which in my opinion scare me the most) and Amhara (which until recently, ran the country). The Oromos and Somalis want out and only a thin coalition of Tigrayans and Amharas are keeping Ethiopia together. But something else is too. That something, is NATIONALISM. To me, Ethiopia seems more like 19th Century Europe than some poor sub-Saharan African country like Malawi or Zambia. These guys are more violent.

For centuries, the Amharas have been fighting of Nubians, Arabs, Somalis, Oromos and Tigrayans. Something they still do today but around the mid 1800s. This tribe along with the Oromo became united through feudal marriages and feudal wars between Ras (or Lords) of Ethiopian cities. One Ras, Ras Menelik won it all and became Negus (Emperor) of Ethiopia. This guy was a smart Emperor. He knew the mistakes of his predecessors. One guy, Tewdoros (or Theodore) got destroyed by the British in 1858. He knew he needed rifles and lots of them. He was different from most African rulers at the time. Rulers in Central, Southern and West Africa were content with posessing gold, harems and muskets. Menelik was just fine with this Bible and a good Martini-Henri at his side. He needed them too. He had to fend off rival Ras, plus Egyptians, Sudanese.

He needed European powers to help him out, in this case they were France and Italy. But Italy, double crossed them. (Are you surprised?). Italy formed when modern Ethiopia formed because just like Ethiopia, it was a bunch of feudal states trying to fend off big European players like France, Austria etc. In some treaty the Italians gave to the Ethiopians to sign, it basically said that Ethiopia was now Italy's colony (or bitch). No ruler in the 19th century could accept that. From little Paraguay, the Boer Republics and the Sikh Kingdoms to France, Prussia, Russia and Qing China they had a similiar disorder. They had the overproduction of testosterone. War was taken seriously back then, it meant life or death for your tribe whether that be (French, Zulu, Sioux whatever). War wasn't a joke. Nowadays, war is an excuse to make you corporate backers rich in much of the world. Except in the Horn of Africa (let's call it the Horn).

Italians had a little colonial base in modern day Eritrea where they could launch attacks on Central Ethiopia, the Amhara homeland. The Ethiopians had some 200,000 men (half of them had rifles). The Italians had a tenth of that number. It looked to be a classical brawl. After some Ethiopian hordes had gone ahead and smashed Italian Askari (African bitches) battalions the Italians dug in. So did the Ethiopians in this strange stalemate until.... the attack came. 20,000 Ethiopians with 8,000 cavalry charged at the Italians as Ethiopian gunners fired shells on their enemies positions. Can you imagine being an Italian on the receiving end of that? Ethiopians may have been short and wiry but their headresses composed of Lion hair made them seem much taller. Ethiopian cavarly speared Italians and native Askari alike. In the end, the battle shocked the world. Africans had beat Europeans??

Ethiopia managed to avoid colonization because of this battle and conquered Somalia. Not bad for Emperor Menelik, not bad.

The Italians come again in 1935 and they mean business. (I dont know why people mock French military history, the Italians have the worst, clearly). Poison gas, airplanes and machine guns beat the Ethiopians and it STILL took them 8 months to do it. The Emperor Haile Selassie of the time took a world tour and managed to start a fringe religion, Rastafarianism. When the Anglos came took liberate the Ethiopians they grabbed Italian Eritrea. This is where Ethiopia's colonialism begins.

But Haile Selassie was strangled and buried under a toilet when the Derg (Communist Revolutionaries) took power. They soon started a war with Somalia in 1977 over who controled the Ogaden region (where Somalis in Ethiopia live). Then in the 80's the Derg targeted Tigrayans and tried starving them to death to crush their liberation movement. That didn't work out too well because Eritrea was created soon after the Derg backer the Soviet Union fell... along with the Derg.

Ethiopia is now surrounded by ethnic states whose countrymen live within their borders. Thats a nightmare scenario for any 19th Century wannabe. Also, especially if you got a Prussia wannabe next door. Eritreans are the most war-like people today aside from Afghans. Just this year they nearly picked a fight with France over Djibouti. It had a war with Yemen in the mid 90s, and a HUGE war with Ethiopia in 1998 to 2000.

Eritreans fought in trenches using machine guns and artillery WWI style while Ethiopians acted like it had its own General Haig sending human waves over landmines (à la Iran). You have no idea how unusual it is for an African nation to engage in trench warfare or even human wave offensives. I told you, they're 19th Century wannabes. They want their watershed Great War. Ethiopian tanks tried to take the town of Badme on the border but Eritrean artillery smashed their formations. In that one battle, 15,000 Ethiopians were killed. Ethiopians can stomach that. Eritrea which has 2 to 3 million people can't. Hence, the trenches. Soviet weapons tries to destroy one another as SAMS, MiGs, Katyushas and more tried to obliterate the enemy. This happened while we were fascinated with Yugoslavia.

Although hundreds of thousands died. It created something, that something was NATIONALISM. That's what helped put Ethiopia in its current situation: Somalia.

Somalia should be a tight-nit country. They're all the same ethnic group, why can't they get along. I think they would, if their clans let them. Clans are not a good thing. They could divide a nation, ask the Scots! Since the Soviet Union fucked up their country and Siad Barre left. The country has lurched from clan war to clan war until the Union of Islamc Courts came in. Locals got tired of chaos and so they thought the least chaotic thing they understood (the Qur'an) was good enough. Just like how the Taliban came in after Afghan warlords made things intolerable... even for Pashtuns! Ethiopia hates this.

Just like in the olden days, Aksum (Ethiopia) wanted to see Nubia weak and vice versa. The same applies here. Also, the thought of seeing the Indian Ocean again must've made their eyes water. With US aid (America thinks all things Islamic are terrorist) Ethiopia invaded Somalia. So now Ethiopia has got a major Somali problem. Somalians in the Ogaden, Somalis in Somalia. Great. On top of that, Eritrea is helping the Somalis and on TOP OF THAT UN peacekeepers have left the Eritrean-Ethiopian border so I expect them to be at war as soon as Ethiopia leaves Somalia.

What about Djibout? You may ask... Djibouti can go fuck itself. It's France's bitch. Its a pseudo-colony. When Eritrea threatned Djibouti, you know who it calls. FRANCE! Pussies. They don't act like a Horn country at all. Maybe because it isn't.

Besides them. The Horn of Africa is a wonderful place to be a mercenary. Not so good a place if you wish to be a professional pacifist or hippie.Oh, and I hear business is booming for potential Somali pirates. As Tecumseh once said:

'Wage war on the Living, Wage war on the Dead! War now! War forever! War Always!'

How Will You Die?: How How Rich Your Country Is Determines Your Death

Death, you're gonna have to think about it eventually. Don't obsess over it now but be aware that it stalks you.

You're life is fine and dandy up to the age of 23. Thats when you're body's cells start dying quicker than they can be produced. A slippery slope of aging, impotence and death soon becomes all-embracing.

So depending where you live. Your death can be a quick glorious demise, or a slow-painful statistic. In the Horn of Africa, you can be a Somali Pirate dying at the hands of an American UAV trying to capture an Indian vessel. Or an Eritrean soldier, killed in a clash with Ethiopians near Badme. Thats what happened in 2000. There was trench warfare, armour clashes and everything. THAT is a glorious death.

Wasting away in a retirement home day-dreaming about pudding is not. Clearly, something is wrong with our cultural values. In a society when you have most of the things you want somewhat available, dying is much more painful I find. Chronic diseases plague us Westerners.

Strokes, Heart Disease, various cancers and alzheimers. What a way to go, by forgetting everything.

People in 3rd World Countries. Whom, I think are leading heroic lives, dying in battle or getting carried off by plagues have more interesting deaths. Malaria, Diarrhea, AIDS and Car Accidents carry these poor fellows off. Then again, dying because your intestines can't absorb the liquid from your shit isn't the cleanest way to die. Neither is a bad car accident. Trust me, I've been to a 3rd world country, you get into a car accident once every week. People do not obey traffic laws over there. Or any laws period. If its not a cultural taboo, do it. The general mantra of a 3rd World Country.

Seriously though, the rich lifestyle of the West is killing us. Working those stupid desktop office jobs while lunching at McDonalds every other day is calls for a heart attack, if not begging for one. Even the ones who dont consume that shit will die because their environment has so many carcinogens. Even a healthy jogger will drink out of a plastic bottle which is a carcinogen. Not to mention the stupid things we do like smoking. Doesn't matter what the drug is, inhaling a burnt substance into your lungs isn't a smart thing.

In a 3rd World Country, you will probably die because your government doesn't give a shit about you. You may have terrible water, worse homes, non functioning hospitals and clinics and even worse road conditions. You will die because of neglect and you know it. You become hyper religious at a young age to secure your placement in whatever after-life you believe in but you know death comes quick. Only a quater of people living in those countries live past the age of 70.

People in 2nd world countries die because of a messed up combo of those two extremes but countries like Russia are different. Russians simply live too hard. They drink to much, gamble too much, stress-out too much, shoot up too much, have sex too much. Too much, too young. They live 10+ years younger than us and for good reason. But, whats better. Dying from alcohol poisoning after the craziest night of clubbing in Moscow, or dying after 50 years behind a desk. That's up to you to decide.

The Normans: Land Vikings

The Normans. Among my favourite warrior peoples and that is why they're the Warrior Peoples of the week. Who were these strange peoples?

Imagine you're a French King in the 800s. Charlemagne, your great-great grandaddy is dead. Leaving you with a hefty inheritance, beset by barbarians. Including the Northmen. You need a plan, your native levies are terrified by these peoples. You decide to be smart about this. Why not invite these Northmen to stay instead of pillage. That way, you dont have to pay the greedy blondies everytime they threatned Paris.

A Danish Norsemen, Rollo was invited to stay with his people on coastal French land. Just as long as he defended it from other Vikings. Simple enough. In time, he became Christian but he was buried the traditional Viking way in a burning warship. His men soon intermarried with the local woman and a new people began to form. The Normans. The Normans weren't the only pseudo-Norsemen on the move. A group of Swedish ones went to Russia and the Volga River, Norwegian ones pillaged and settled in the British Isles. But the Normans were different...

Sure, most Vikings would pillage than settle down eventually. After all, Scandinavia was a bit crowded in those days. However, the Normans didn't stop after they settled down. Their greatest triumphs were AFTER they settled down. Their first adventures were in Italy. Some Norman pilgrims would go down to Italy to get to the Holy Land and Italian lords saw their natural martial skills. Soon, Norman bands were working for the Italians killing their enemies for some land and cash.

By the early 11th century, bands of Normans wandering around finally got some leadership. Under Robert "the Weasel" Guiscard. They conquered Sicily and soon Normans were all over the Mediterranean including the Byzantine Empire helping hold back the many Bulgars, Slavs, Arabs, Turks, Armenians, Russians etc who wanted them dead. This was all before 1066.

In England, King Edward the Confessor had died. He'd promised his throne to William, Duke of Normandy. Another person who wanted the throne was Harald Hardrada, a Norsemen from Norway. Harold Godwinson got the throne in the end and both Harald and William went about getting their forces ready to conquer England for themselves, since such was the Norse way.

Harold had to rush his troops to the north of England to defeat Harald's troops but just as soon as the battle was ended. News arrived that William of Normany had landed in the far south. He had to trot his army, though exhausted down south again. Perhaps the exhaustion did the Saxon Housecarls in but the Normans destroyed the Anglo-Saxons at Hastings and set about crushing England. So thoroughly was England crushed that only Norman lords resided over the country. This pattern was repeated in Wales and Scotland. Some Scottish clans like Montgomery are of Norman ancestry. Ireland was treated this way too.

The Normans didn't stop in England. Italian-Normans joined in the crusades as soon as they were started. Ever land hungry, the founded the Kingdom of Antioch. Surrounded by hundreds of thousands if not millions of Muslims, this kingdom lasted till near the 13th centuries.

Well, what happened to the Normans. Why aren't we speaking "Normish" or whatever language they spoke. Well, the Normans didn't have a culture. The Normans took on French culture after all. Wherever they went, they became the indigenous peoples. They became French, Italian, English, Scottish, Irish, Greek and Syrian. That's what happens to the best of them I suppose. They fade away....

Genocide: Warfare for the Cheap at Heart

Ahh.... genocide. Some view it as a crime, others view it as inherently evil. I see it as warfare for those who prefer Wal-Mart to Lacoste. Think about it. The only reason why you're here alive today is BECAUSE of genocide.

Who did your ancestors have to kill in order for them to procreate and make a dozen little you's? You want a European example. Simple. Ever hear the Avars? No? Well... no wonder. As I mentioned in the last blog I put up, a lot of Turkic peoples migrated when the Turks conquered the Juan-Juan. The Avars are one of them. When Rome was being put out by Germanic tribes, they came and settled on the Hungarian plain. Things were rosy for these people back then. Killing, raping, pillaging, drinking yogurt and talking about the best way to make sure your composite bow is steady as you ready your killing shot. A good steppe life. Then, Charlemagne came along. He smashed and smashed and crushed the Avars till there was no more Avars. Then the Magyars (modern day Hungarians) took their spot. If you're a European reading this, why bother? This was centuries ago.... well not really. This shit is happening now in Africa.

Yes, because you guys put on average 20 different ethnic groups in one country. Genocide is whats going on now. Instead of letting the big African ethnic groups (Fulani, Zulu, Yoruba, Oromo, Swahili speakers etc etc etc) swallow up or kill all the small ones. Now, the small ones HAVE to get wiped out to get access to little materials a typican African nation needs. All this village burning, limb-dismembering reminds me of what medieval Europe went through. Modern day Africa is really medieval Europe. With a lot of growing pains. A genocide you maybe familiar with is the Rwandan one. Just an attempt for the Hutus to stake out a tribal claim in Central Africa. Which is not easy. The dense jungle areas of that region mean generally less food and less healthy people. Meaning smaller ethnic groups. So when the two biggest groups in Central Africa rumbles, everyone's gonna get messed up. Real bad. After the Tutsis fought back, the Hutus fled to the DRC. Making even more tribal enemies. As I said, in Africa its all about staking out a territory for yourself, but the hard part is keeping it.

Anyways Europe is lucky in that respect. The French live in France. The Germans in Germany. This is the new 'norm'. Wasn't the norm 100 years ago during the time of European Empires. The exceptions are the United Kingdom of G.B. and Spain, which could split apart into tribal territories at any time. If Europe is lucky, the New World for the most part is luckier. Ever hear what happened to the Iroquois peoples?

The biggest, baddest tribe north of the Rio Grande, besides the Sioux after they got horses. The point is, they controlled the Great Lakes region through trade and their large forts. They were smart too. They use guns bought from the Dutch to wipe out an ally to their Great Enemy, the French. That ally was the Huron. Diseases decimated both tribes but the Iroquois had guns and shot and clubbed the Huron to near extinction. Then the Iroquois took the survivors to fill up their tribal ranks. A tribe after my own heart. During this period of the time they allied with the UK. Maybe this was smart when they had to deal with the French. But during the American Revolutionary War, this wasn't a good strategy. Washington sent brigades north to destroy every Iroquois settlement in their homeland of Northern New York state. Now, Iroquois have to live on old Huron land. Figures huh?

If you live in the Americas, where would you be living? Essex, Wessex, Sussex... or worse. Northumbria! Face it man. Genocide is cheap and it gets the job one. You need a modern example? In 100 years, how many Uighurs or Tibetans will there be. Maybe all the Uighurs in the world will live in Turkmenistan and all the remaining Tibetans will live in India? Who knows. Thats genocide for you. You Europeans though, you think its terrible. Wait till the Basques actually grow the balls to declare their own state, or Scotland seperates. Then you'll know how every 3rd World Country feels. If you're a 3rd world country, and you need the space. Get it done. After all, the country which are the richest are the most ethnically and culturally homogenous. Look at Japan, Scandinavia!

Ahh.. genocide. Cheapest warfare there is, and it'll never end.

Manzikert: Why You Have to Thank the Nearest Turk for Why Things Are The Way They Are

I like history and warfare. I'm not going to lie. I relish the rich stories it gives out about human beings. Like me and probably you too, who posess the same qualities except they're able to use them better than us. These days a really athletic person might as well play football or basketball. 1000 years ago, a really athletic person was probably some type of warrior. Trust me, there were alot of them back then and the coolest society to be a warrior would have to be one of those steppe ones.

Ever since these people had figured out how to corral a horse and ride it they've been kicking ass. Serious ass. The earliest one were the Indo-Europeans. Don't sound familiar? Well, they pretty much wiped out any Y-Chromosome Neolithic farmer genes that could've existed within you and replaced them with interesting Indo-European ones. Which is probably why most Europeans speak an Indo-European language. These people didn't stop there. Europe was lucky, to be totally honest with you. The really crazy ones like the Persians and the Aryans went to Iran and South Asia. These cow-obsessed, Soma drinking, drug addicts racists conquered most of Northern India leaving the Dravidian peoples to keep the Southern areas. Even they weren't the craziest of them all. The Scythians drank human blood and smoked hemp after taking a rest from driving around their buggy carts and killing Greeks and Slavs.

Then the Turco-Mongol peoples got at it and the fun fun times began. The Chinese, thinking that they could weaken some Northern Barbarian tribes (the Juan Juan Empire) gave a bit more powerful to a smaller tribe near lake Baikal named the Tu-Chueh. They conquered the Juan Juan and formed a massive empire mostly by cultural assimiliation which isn't hard in Central Asia. Its that or death. Soon everybody was a Tu-Chueh or Turk. Bands of Turks split off on their own like the Bulgars, Khazars and Pechenegs to find their own fortunes elsewhere. You'd think that the Turks would invade China next but they didn't. Sadly, they broke up into 2 states.

This ain't the end of the story. After the Arabs using Islam conquered a huge Empire they began raiding Turkish lands near the Oxus and Jaxartes rivers and soon their was Turks in Baghdad. Capital of the Abbasid Caliphate. The Turks began chewing out Caliphs as soon as they chose the new ones to replace them. More and more Turks began moving West as the Abbasids began to collapse. Many working for Persian warlords and soon they converted to Islam. The toughest bunch of these people were a tribe called the Seljuks.

After getting pissed at a Persian lord he took his whole tribe (horses and goats included) and began ransacking the Middle East soon even becoming Sultan of the decaying Islamic Empire and their new leader Alp Arslan began raiding Christian Armenia razing entire cities to the ground.

Now, its 1071. The neighbouring Byzantine Empire is nervous. They've been having to deal with Bulgars and now these Seljuk Turks show up in their home turf (Anatolia or Modern Day Turkey). A Byzantine Empress marries a general by the name of Romanus thinking that this military man can end this Turkish threat. He then kitted out an army of Byzantine Greeks, Franks, Norsemen even some Turks himself to face these 'heathens'. Needless to say, he got pwned.

The Seljuks used my Steppe tactic. They basically fired arrows from their horses and when that massive Byzantine field army advanced, they'd retreat. When the Byzantines got tired, they'd come close to fire arrows again and when the field army advanced, they retreated. This carried on for hours until the Byzantine army turned around. BIG MISTAKE. The Seljuks pounced on their tired foes whose reserve forces had already ran back to Constantinople. They even took Emperor Romanus prisoner.

What happens next is really funny. Romanus is sitting in a tent, probably waiting to be killed by Alp Arslan (Seljuk Chieftain) when Alp lets him go. The Byzantines weren't the real target. He was more interested in killing Shi'ites in Egypt than Greeks with a pseudo-Roman complex.He hammered out an armistice with Romanus. Romanus went home and got the typical Byzantine treatment. He got his eyes gouged (ceremonial practise for really bad Emperors of the Byzantines) and he died a few days later. Alp was also killed by a servant a too a month after that. Their armistice collapse and now Turkish tribes (with their goats) were now taking land that had been speaking Greek for the past.... 1,400 years.

WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS???: The Muslim Seljuk invasions of the Byzantine Empire made the new Byzantine Emperors reconcile with the Roman Catholic Church. They joined forces to have a Crusade to free Byzantine lands (and with back Jerusalem). The crusades started the revival of Europe since Greek knowledge translated to Arabic and Chinese technology all came back to Europe allowing it to revitalize by the 14th century before the Black Death. However the crusades and the Turkish invasions ruined the Byzantine forever. All this culminated in the Renaissance. Then the discovery of the New World since Europeans were forced now to avoid Muslim trade routes to the Orient thus discussing the New World.

So, if you live in North America. Find the nearest Turk in your community and thank him and his ancestors. For killing Chinese, Persians, Arabs, Shi'ites, Armenians and Byzantine Greeks to live in North America.

2008: The Year the British Empire Blows Up

* Taken from an earlier article I'd written

I want you to go any international news website and pick out the troublesome nations. Nations like Burma, Zimbabwe, Iraq, Pakistan, Palestine and Israel and you'll notice one thing. They're all former members of the British Empire.

Blaming the British Empire for everything going wrong in the world isn't a cheap shot. Its reality. The Chinese still hates the UK over the Opium Wars in the mid 19th century and the Aussies still resent the Brits for their low population*. Another good reason for blaming the Brits for everything is simply because it's all too easy.

For instance, Zimbabwe. Slam two major ethnic groups together (Shona and Ndebele) plus whites from Devonshire who can't quite belong and are also very trigger happy and you get a messed up nation. Taking cues from South African neighbours, a sort of apartheid developed there and of course a black rebellion started across Southern Africa. Robert Mugabe who strained under white, colonial rule got power in the end and went mad. Everywhere he saw the treacherous Anglos pinning to get White Rhodesia back. A Briton might say "Wot do I got to do with it mate?". Everything of course. Your nation caused Zimbabwe. It made the pseudo-nation itself built on the whites. When Mugabe chases the whites out, his Zimbabwe falls. Fitting I suppose. Playing favourite to a foreign minority always gets you nowhere. Zimbabwe is now a stumbling state where 1/4 of its citizens now live in South Africa. Bread costs 70,000 dollars due to hyperinflation not seen since 1920s Germany.

Iraq, oh Iraq. Created by the Brits to please their Arab partners who helped chase the Turks out of the Mid-East it was the amalgamation of Arab Tribes both Shi'a and Sunni plus Turcomans, Assyrians and Kurds ruled by Saudis. When Iraq rebelled in 1941, Churchill gassed them. When Saddam gassed Kurds, the West and Britain cried foul. "You can't do what we did! It's not just!"Well, it's not just if you're nation is on the world second largest oil supply. Churchill died peacefully in 1965 at the age of 90. Saddam was hung by a Shi'a gang last year. Iraq is now a bloody mess teetering on Iranian domination.

The list goes on! Pakistan's North West Frontier is overrun with Pashtuns not seen since the British Empire. Burma's military government only exists because the British didn't want another fight immediately after World War II, yet it fought in Malaya against ethnic Chinese who're now persecuted by the Malaysian government. Nigeria is mess with Christians and Muslims slaughtering each other over oil, Britain's Palestinian problem is now America's War on Terror, Kenyans tried to kill each other because there's around 40 ethnic groups in their country compared to Britain's 3 or 4. Britain crushed Iran's only Democratic govt which led to the overthrow of Mossadeq, to the Shah's reign and now the Ayatollahs. Britain's defeat of the Boer Republics in Southern Africa gave rise to Apartheid etc etc etc etc

I even scoff when Britain tries to make a case about Tibet. Francis Younghusband led Gurkha and Sikh troops to conquer Tibet for no goddamn reason. After all, there's no monetary value in that backward region of Himalayas. He killed thousands. When the Chinese invaded, they treated the surrendered Tibetans with respect. When Tibetans surrendered to Younghusband, he being the crazy 19th Century Anglo he is massacred them. I even scoff at Tibetans, they once had an Empire! They conquered the Chinese capital Chang'an around the 7th century. They even ruled the Bay of Bengal for a while.

They have no right to complain. Who even knows how many ethnic groups the British killed in the Australia, the Americas and Africa. I'm pretty sure Reagan's Evil Empire was the British Empire, even though Thatcher's toothy smile concealed it.Let's hope Britain does continue this bloody tradition. A war in Iran seems certain and a rematch to the Anglo-Persian wars would be a good one. Or another Falkland War would warm my colonial heart. Boer War redux anyone?

God Save the Queen! -clink-