Thursday, October 22, 2009

Balkanization Or Why You Have to Blame Every Turk for Europe's World Wars


This article sort of reminds me of the Manzikert one in which I think the Turks for aiding the discovery of the New World by destroying Byzantium and making Europe panic into finding other routes to China and India. This one is about how the weakness of the Turks destroyed the Concert of Europe and pushed Europe towards the path of destruction in the World Wars which pretty much lead to the Rise of the USA and USSR. It wasn't really their fault of course but how would Russia react to a decaying Empire to her south which bordered the Mediterreanean. It was a logical move to seize Ottoman territory despite Anglo-Franco protests






I'm not even sure why many Europeans don't think Turks aren't Europeans. They certainly are, they're just Muslims Europeans like 5% of the French population or the Albanians-Kosovars. I mean, they think Russia maybe slightly European though 15% of Russia is now Muslim. Europeans just have to accept the fact that the Ottomans have had a part to play in the development of Europe since they roared onto the Anatolian plan close to 1000 years ago. If the Turks hadn't entered Europe who knows what might've happened. Maybe there'd be more Greeks or the Anatolian Greeks might be Muslim or the Byzantine Empire might still exist to this very day and taken the place of the Ottomans. Who knows?Might as well start where I left off around the end of the 11th century




In the 1070s the Byzantines were in a shit-hole of a position. The Seljuk Turks were knocking at the gates of Constantinople, the Normans had seized Bari in Italy and parts of Greece, the Serbs, Bulgars, Hungarians and Pechenegs were on the way to take the Balkans. Quite the shitty situation indeed. In 1081, a new Emperor Alexius Comnenus seized power after putting out someone's eyeballs and managed to hire enough mercenaries to kill thousands of Normans, Serbs and Pechenegs but they were still tons of Turks in Anatolia. The Turks started fighting amongst each other when another Turkish tribe entered Anatolia and Alexius saw his chance.


He had an audience with some visitors from the Pope and basically told them that he was the thin purple line (since Purple was seen as an Imperial colour by these pseudo-Romans) against these Muslims invaders. Also, the Turks now controlled Jerusalem and according to Peter the Hermit they persecuted Christians. For these reasons, Pope Urban II called for a crusade. The first among many. The Crusaders pushed back the Turks and took back cities and finally reached Jerusalem after killing most of the Jews and Muslims living there. Killing Christians wasn't new in the Middle East but the killing of Muslims on a massive scale was new, the Mongols hadn't hit Baghdad yet.




By the 1100s the entire Middle East has changed. The Byzantines seemed confident under Emperor Manuel, Zengi of Mosul wanted to recapture Jerusalem and the Seljuk Turks were right between the Byzantines and the Zengi of Mosul. After Zengi had captured cities in Armeania a new Crusade was called but without Byzantine support because a peace treaty had been signed between the Seljuks and "Rome". The Turks totally destroyed them. Then the Manuel broke the peace treaty and hit the Seljuks hard. Then... the Seljuks attack the Byzantines after the Zengi of Mosul dies and Greece and the Balkans are carved up by Hungarians and Sicilians whilst in the East Saladin rises and conqueres Jerusalem. A Third Crusade is called but that fails and the Fourth one in the 1200s is a money grab to destroy all the remaining splendor of Byzantium and ruining the Empire forever. You would at least expect the Turks to do them in this way but no, it had to be some blind Venetian Doge who'd screw the Byzantines over.




Fortunately for the Crusaders, the Mongols come and kill millions of Muslims in the heartland of the Middle East but unfortunately for the Byzantines they spare the Seljuks only asking for protection money. If things couldn't get worse..they do. The Black Death kills more than half the people in Constantinople in 1347 after a Byzantine Civil War and the Turks cross into Europe. Even worse, an earthquake allowed even more Turks to move into Europe in 1354. These Ottomans Turks slowly expanded against Serbs, Albanians, Macedonians, Greeks, Bulgars, Italians and Franks especially at the Battle of Kosovo. They allowed traditional cultures to exist while taking their sons to become Janissaries. The Byzantines got a break when Tamerlane pretty much wrecked Ottoman Turkey but in 1453, the time to end the Byzantine Empire had come. An Empire that had lasted almost 1000 years was destroyed by cannon as it blasted the famous wall of the city. Not much could stop the Turks after this, not even Vlad the Impaler. Though he was a scary motherfucker, the Turks would kill anyone who stood in their way at this time. In their mind, they were the Muslim inheritors of the Caliphate, the Mongol Empire and Rome.




By 1492, The Turks were the big 300 pound Muslim gorilla in the room that was bashing Hungary (the frontline against the Turks) as it controlled the Balkans. The Ottomans conquered Egypt in 1517 and conquered Mesopotamia by the 1530s controlling most trade to China and Europe. The Portuguese found a way around this by making the Indian Ocean it's "Lake" by conquered cities and outposts around the rim of it, while the Spanish tried to go to China by the other way and bumped into two continents and the 50 or so million people that lived on both of them by the time the Spanish arrived. Luckily for the Spanish, if they arrived in Ming dynasty China and started proclaiming that the King of Spain was sovereign over them, they would've been killed. Saying such stuff to neolithic Amerindians in Cuba is so much easier.




By the 1520s, Europe had changed. The Holy Roman Emperor Charles the Fifth who ruled pershaps a quater of Europe and Francis I of France were fighting each other across the continent and while in capitivity the King of France urged the Ottomans to attack. Turkish forces invaded Hungary and Austria would've fallen if Francis hadn't paid to leave capitivity so Carlos V would have enough money to fight the Turks. It must be hard to pay the mortgage on so many countries. Due to the reformation, German Lutheran princes were rich due to all the Church property and gold they took but no, they couldn't fight the Catholics now because The Turks had besieged Vienna and they had to pledge to leave Catholics alone to fight Muslims. The Turks came back against in 1533 and Carlos V had to resolve not to destroy the Protestants because he needed them to fight the Turks and save Vienna. The Turks were saving Protestants everywhere! As long as the Turks were a threat, the Europeans would unite despite religion. But not in 1545 because the Turks and Persians had gone to war. Carlos the V invaded Lutheran Germany and was on the verge of winning but the Pope who was afraid of his power pulled his troops out of Germany where he was once supporting the anti-protestant war and Lutheran-French forces drove him from Germany. In the end, thanks to France, the Pope and Ottomans Protesant Churches would survive and a greater conflict between Catholics and Protestants in the 30 years war over Bohemia which led to the French rise to European dominance which would plague Europe until 1870.




The Spanish crown passed to Felipe II and he had his problems too. He no longer had the Holy Roman Empire but he did have the Netherlands, all of Iberia and Latin America. However, silver from the mines of Potosi weren't coming, the port of Antwerp had slumped, he had to maintain an expensive army in the Netherlands, worry about French protestants and of course the Turks. The Ottoman navy pretty much controlled the Eastern Mediterreanean and threatned Spanish interests. The Habspurgs all over Europe united against thsi threat and won a naval battle against the Turks. No worry, the Ottomans could rebuild at that point. They were technically a superpower as was Spain but that power was waning. More and more trade volume went across the Atlantic to places like the Philippines to trade with China and the Portuguese had trade routes to India by other routes too, they even controlled the City of Goa. This was not good for the Turks as time did tell. Other Mediterreanean powers like Venice shrank to nothing and the Hanseatic league collapsed too. Only Atlantic powers would call the global shots from now on. So, the Ottomans came back to Vienna in 1683 and failed, the farthest they'd extend to Europe. The Croissant was inveted to commemorate it. This is how low the Turks had sunken, they invented a pastry to show how deep they've gone into imperial malaise...it was bad enough that the Poles had to clear them from the battlefield but a pastry. Just awful.




Fast forward a century and the Ottoman Empire is in decay. Ripe, open decay. The Beys or lords of provinces such as Morrocco are nearly independant. After the Napoleonic Wars, the Concert of Europe meetings sought a way to prevent further war so that power would be balances and that they'd work cooperatively for peace. This was not meant to be. The Great Powers present were Spain, France, Britain, Prussia, Austria and Russia but not the Ottoman Turks. The denial of the Ottoman Turks at the negotiation table would cause a century of turmoil and nationalism. Can't blame the Europeans though, the Ottomans were the "Sick Man of Europe" at this point. Formerly, a Sultans only became sultans when they had cruelly strangled all their brothers but by the 1700s the princes were raised in the harem far away from politics, finance and war. New sultans had no clue about how to run a government. Unsurprising, this may have caused the decline.


After the Napoleonic Wars the Russians helped the Serbs form a country in 1817, then the Brits helped Greece form a state by 1833. France seized Algeria by 1830. Soon ethnic states were being formed in the Balkans and this set off a chain reaction which threatned the nearby multi-ethnic Austria-Hungary. For instance, what if all the Germans got together? Nationalism became a force due to Ottoman collapse. Also, European cooperation ended too due to Ottoman collapse in the Crimean War when France, Britain and the Ottomans fought in the Crimean peninsula for three years. The idea of nationalism gave Germany the idea to band together under Prussian leadership, Italy too. You could even argue it spurred Japanese modernization. All from the Turks. Guess what, Austria-Hungarian empire began picking up pieces of Turkish provinces like Bosnia just so it get can some access to the sea while their German cousins became a world power through trade in East Asia and a railroad to Baghdad through Ottoman Anatolia. A coup in 1908 by the Young Turks made Turke think it could gain back the Balkans. Wrong of course but all this lead to an escalation where in 1914 the Archduke Franz Ferdinand was killed over Bosnia, a tiny former Ottoman province.World War erupted of course which ultimately led to World War II. The problems of the modern Middle East such as Palestine and the formation of Iraq were once Ottoman problems but at least they knew how handle Arab villagers and Kurds...and 1 million dead Armenians.
Even though Turks did bring about the modern world, they did bring about the nationalism which nearly destroyed Europe in the 20th century. Of course, you can't blame a Turk for all these things but their place in Europe is of course undeniable. The Turks are European in the sense that they changed European history for the better. It took more than 50 million dead Europeans to realize that European Cooperation is the best way to compete with the world. I think the Turks should at least be included in that. To exclude the Turks from European history is an awful mistake because so much of modern Europe stems from Turkish conquests, defeats and meddling from other European powers as well.

Monday, October 12, 2009

The Heroin Wars


Today, the United States of America faces a crisis which none but the smartest of Empires have successfully defeated. A growing trade-imbalance with China. It's nothing new of course. Spain stupidly was handed the crisis and stupidly did nothing to correct it. Medieval Castilians weren't too big on economics unlike their Dutch vassals. However the British solved their problem quite intelligently, can America do the same?


So around the mid 16th century Spain is finally getting down to work with its colonies in the New World and is gazing in one direction. West, towards Asia. The original goal of Columbus' explorations and the place where the Portuguese were getting all their spice from. From that time period onward, New Spain (Mexico) sent fleets into the Pacific. One conquered the Philippines archipelago and finally had a depot to trade with China. There was one problem though. The Ming Dynasty were Mercantalist to the core. They didn't welcome foreign goods into their nation. But they did welcome Spanish silver from Peru and Mexico to trade for porcelain, silk, spices etc. Soon, so much silver was flowing to China that the country had to cut the Manila trade to two ships each year but these ships soon became gigantic Spanish galleons.

This loss of silver contributed to to economic downfall of Spain which bankrupted itself with wars with France, the Ottomans, the United Provinces of the Netherlands and England.


How did Britain approach this problem? The British, being protestants loved trade and the free market (as long as it worked towards their advantage) and in the case of China before the Opium Wars.. it didn't. The Chinese sent tea, porcelain,silk,rhubarb etc to the British who traded silver for it. The Chinese were loaded and on top of that, the largest untapped market in the world! It was the East India Company's wet dream. In order to make that dream come to fruition. The Company began growing tea itself at cut-throat prices to Britain to undercut Chinese competition and finally it planeted poppies to sell opium to the Chinese and make sure their population would be addicted and customers for a long time to Britain. The Chinese were using the very same silver they got when they getting silver for tea. It was mercantalism gone wrong. When the Manchu government saw that their population were being ensnared by this narcotic of course they fought back, but the industrial revolution the Chinese had forsaken for Confucian harmony destroyed their junks. This warfare culminated in the burning and looting of the Summer Palace and the seizure of Hong Kong. The most beautiful of all Manchu palatial homes in the Celestial Empire. After this, China and its territory were reduced to a rump-state that was all but controlled by Western and Japanese companies. Even Manchuria where the dynasty had hailed from had been taken by the Russians!


All i'm saying, is that worse comes to worse in the next 50 years...America should legalize all

drugs and sell them right here at home. Of course, we'd have to sell it, and who do we sell it to? The biggest market on Earth. Also, think of all the money America could make by forcing Afghan peasants instead of warlords to grow opium. We'd be starving the Taliban of an essential source of funding and getting that money by shipping heroin to the Chinese. Of course it won't be easy. The Chinese aren't relying on war-drums and monkey bombs as they did back in the 1850s. Still, I'm guessing that American weaponry by 2050 will be more powerful than anything the Chinese will have by then. Another unfortunate fact is that the Chinese knows what happened to them back in the 19th century but if the US is smart and grows some cojones it will find a way to sell drugs to the Chinese. Think about it, it'll make the British and French proud.

Obama's Nobel Shock and Awe

Written by Elijah Williams

My brothers and sisters, today is a sad today in the history of the American Republic! We may
congregate and deliberate on whether brother Obama really deserved his Nobel win but I say
that my main man, Obama did NOT deserve to win that prestigious award.

As my granmammy back in Norfolk, VA used to say "You ain't deserve nothin' till you sho' done
sumthin' " and I must say with all honesty Barack Obama has said a whole lot of somethin' and
done squat-diddly regarding the primary issues which is supposed to have won the boy this
prize, these issues being: Nuclear Proliferation, ending Middle East Peace treaty stagnation and
possessing determination about American diplomacy and international fraternation!

When Obama says something, the whole planet swoons as if Cab Calloway or Chuck Berry was
singing personally to them. In fact, i'm dang stumped by this to be honest. How can a pseudo-
Midwestern accent appeal to 300 million plus American froms New Jersey to Alaska. I mean
it's as if a Southern Belle from Georgia (who shall god-willing win the Presidency) made every
Californian democrat fall in love with her everytime she said "Oh lord! The Union is coming!
Atlanta must not burn!". Anywho, by merely saying he wants to get rid of nukes..the one thing
that kept the Cold War out of my fair Virginny and in every Third World backwater on earth
from Hue to Herat makes my heart sink. Nukes were the only thing that kept the ol' USSR from
waging a gigantic Kursk like battle in Central Kraut-land (not that I wouldn't of minded, god
bless 'em). The only that kept those Kimchi eaters from going after South Kimchi land all over
again and making another generation of the Williams clan war veterans.

Another thang I don't get is his Middle East peace thang. I mean, what is he doing over yonder?
The man flew over to Cairo to make a speech and badang! The whole of Arabia wants four more
years of Obamamania. George Mitchell maybe flying all over the goddamn sands of Arabia whilst the Jew and the Arab kill each other for hills in the Levant. While Persia is getting close to those
nukes and while Arabia proper, espcially Yemen is going to the dogs. And don't get me started on ol' Iraq or Irak however you spell it. We'll be in Iraq forever due to its central location in the
wannabe Caliphate and trust me, either we'll leave Afghanistan in 2011 but if we do, we'll be
having punitive actions over yonder every 20 years like our British friends. Can'ttrust a Pathan
with gold as much as you can't trust an Apache with a rifle and sheep! Maybe minus the sheep,
they ain't Welshman or Basque!

Anywho, saying that you're gonna start talking to the Taliban and the Hezbollah and the
AlQaeda and the Persians and the Kimchi Eaters and the Grand Mufti of Mos-cow ain't gonna
win us the damn war of global influence. It reminds me of this boy in my old neighbourhood
named Jacob Washington. He was the biggest boy in the 'hood. Best athlete and he was the ]
richest boy in my neighbourhood. But he was so damn nice he couldn't manipulate anyone,
especially after his smart friend Howard Cohen moved out to Tel Aviv. Anyways, everybody
used and abused him until he wound up dead in a street corner in Richmond.

I don't want America becoming Jacob Washington. I want America to become William Pitt the
Older's America. Ya know, the America that keeps China and those damn Portuguesies in Brazil
in check! Now that's progress... I think