2000-2009: Worst. Decade.Ever.

I don't know about you but hasn't this the saddest start to a century in the past 500 years or more? The beginning of the 20th century got flight, the phonograph, the automobile not to mention Einstein's theory of Relativity. The only wars were against Boers and Filipinos and every non-white chaffed under the rule of the Europeans, especially after East Asian Japan crushed Slavic Russia.

The start of the 19th century had wars for sure. After all, this was the era of Napoleonic France as it sought to stretch its domination from Madrid to Moscow. Also, the new nation of the US was doubling in every way (geographically, demographically etc). Exciting times. What do we have? Shit. Nothing but elephant dung. No African beetle would attempt to roll it up and make something beautiful like a home for its larvae out of it. I fear bringing up my own offspring in this giant shit called the 21st century.

The UN declared this decade at the advent as the decade in which children would be safe from violence. Tell that to the child soldiers in the Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda, the ones who fought for the Tamils in Sri Lanka and are fighting in Central Africa to control diamonds, gold and other minerals with little real value. This decade has been shit and we all know it. Let's go year by year shall we?

2000: George W Bush gets elected president and dooms America for the wildest 8 years of its history. Yee-haw! Elian Gonzales finally returns to his Marxist Banana Republic of Cuba, good riddance.Putin comes to power and reinvogirates Mother Russia to crush all. (ie Chechens).

2001: George Bush is inaugarated. Tears stream down a marble statue of Jefferson. Second Intifada in full swing, giving Ariel Sharon troubling mini-strokes. September 11th is the call to arms against Iraq and Afghanistan but interestingly enough Saudi Arabia is spared.

2002: The Ultimate Power of the Euro is realized when Marianne is put at the back of a French Euro Coin. Tres chic. Operation Annaconda commences and fails. East Timor gets independance and finds out it can't blame everything on Indonesia anymore. The US starts building a case (a very weak one against Iraq). Argentina finds out bankruptcy ain't so hot.

2003: Iraq is invaded much to every Arab's chagrin. The first pandemic of the decade - SARS scares the shit out of everyone. Many more diseases to follow. Hacking off too many limbs in Liberia causes people to actually care about West Africa.

2004: Haitians lose their sanity again. John Kerry actually believes he can become president in the middle of Bush's war. Spain withdraws from Iraq via a sucker punch from Al Qaeda. Darfur is on everyone's lips, including the dead Fur people of Sudan. The first Sikh Prime Minister of India shatters the dream of Khalistan. The Devolution of the UK goes to far when the Scottish meet in their own parliament and don't discuss how to give away their country to the English. The TV show Lost confuses everyone. George Bush wins against proving that America is insane yet sane at the same time. The US does everything but nuke Fallujah. The Indian Ocean nearly drowns South Asia.

2005: The Creation of Youtube makes the possibility of Two Girls One Cup happen. Israel evacuates its settlers from Gaza. Hurricane Katrina tarnishes the Bush Administration. Paris burns. In fact, everything burns.

2006: Russia strangles Ukraine from its gas. Stephen Harper becomes Prime Minister of Canada meaning that we're all Pseudo-Albertans at heart. The Iraq War heats up with the death of Zarqawi. Somehow, Israel loses to a non-state entity on Southern Lebanon called Hezbollah. How you ask? We shall never know. The Wii brings joy and laughter to every retirement home.

2007: Ethiopia invades Somalia after Tadesse Alemu dies (Who doesn't love Erikum?). No ones knows what happened at the Battle of Najaf, nor will anyone ever. Bird Flu scares the crap out of everyone (more pandemics to come!). China still have slaves, dayum! Britain pussies out of Basra, Lord Kitchener in heaven sheds tears. Pakistan starts crumbling and Benazir Bhutto becomes a victim of it.

2008: The stock market takes its first plunge of the year. Kosovo is freed. Rising food prices make the bottom billion close to rebelling. Kenya has a major hiss fit. The Sichuan Earthquake. Beijing amazes the world the same day Georgia astounds the world for its stupidity. Americans fear for their lives as their material wealth diminishes so they elect a Black Man to White House. The Gaza Strip conflict begins making the Jews lose most Holocaust sympathy in the West.

2009 (so far): Laurent Nkunda is captured by Rwandans so they could make his stay in Rwanda more comfortable. Iceland collapses. North Korea threatens the world again, sabre-rattling with nukes. Ahmadinejad of Iran is re-elected making those Iranian hipsters rebels with a cause. Michael Jackson dies and Honduras still is a Banana Republic

So there you have it. A short run-down to the shit we people have had to deal with. This century can only get worse. Who calls an Asian War by 2040? The collapse of Pakistan? Renewed Civil War in Suda? Apple gets even richer? Shit times man, shit times.